I checked out a book from the library called It's a Girl: Women writers on raising daughters. I thought it might help me connect more with the little girl inside me.
I'll be the first to admit that I definitely was hoping for a boy. Raising a little girl scares me to death. It's not that I don't think I can do it or have the required skills. Of course I do. I couldn't quite put my fingers on it until I read this.
"The mother of a girl must plumb the depths of the girlhood she'd thought she had safely escaped - but this time through the eyes of her daughter, whose experience is necessarily different. The pain and joy of this reliving, the merging of mother and daughter experience, and the bittersweet, inevitable seperation between the two, is at the core of mothering a girl."
SHIT.
That is exactly why I was and am worried...
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ReplyDeleteWow. Holy fuck. You just published that you were hoping for a boy...now it's out there. Marti is going to hear about this, in fact she'll probably have the pleasure of reading it.
ReplyDeleteBUT!!!! Marti, when you ARE reading this, you must know that your name has nothing NOTHING to do with your mother's wish for a boy instead of you. 100% honestly a very honest promise. Even the movie was about girls...
Wow. I hope she moves out before starts therapy. Can't afford what this is going to cost.
*I had to edit the comment...hence the deleted and then post...c'mon people...give me a break here!!!
And, I am very proud of you. I know that you are going to be an amazing mother regardless of the therapy hyper-solar-structure you just started...aside from that...
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. I love you.
Honesty with yourself is healthy. I'm proud of you for tackling it. My mom recently told me that she and my dad weren't sure for years whether they even wanted kids. But it didn't make me feel any less wanted.
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